Advice from a ghost...nevermind the ghost

May 7, 2008, 7:26 PM

I just remembered this, I know its crazy, yep, I know.

I woke up from my sleep.

I was thinking about how I have to act , and if I act good enough to date a girl.

The "spirit " said " People date you for who you are"

Usually things that I hear in my sleep are real stupid and make no sense what so ever. I was awake.

However , when I thought about it, it did make sense to me. If someone is interested in you, have confidence go for it. You do not have to change, or worry about acting the wrong way because people date you for who you are. If you are interested then they are interested, just go for it.

I kicked at the ghost, and it left me alone....

Anyways forget about the ghost, let's not get into that. What do you think about what it told me? My subconscious or ghost, something spoke to me.

Importantly , what do you think about what it told me, good or bad advice?

As for the ghost...lets not get into that, just the advice or idea.

May 7, 2008, 8:11 PM

Oh wow, ghosts dole out advice to you?

But nevertheless, it's solid advice. It's almost cliche to say this, but it really is best to just be yourself around people you're interested in. You don't wanna put on a mask just for someone to like you, it'd be a hassle and if you slip up there goes the relationship. If someone likes you for who you are then you've made a good find. If someone doesn't like you, then fuck them (not literally, obviously).

I find a healthy dose of narcissism helps out with this too, because if someone doesn't like the real you, you can just be like "fine, you're loss, enjoy your half-retarded jocks, don't come crawling back to me when they get you drunk and rape you."

May 7, 2008, 8:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ARC-77

But nevertheless, it's solid advice. It's almost cliche to say this, but it really is best to just be yourself around people you're interested in. You don't wanna put on a mask just for someone to like you, it'd be a hassle and if you slip up there goes the relationship. If someone likes you for who you are then you've made a good find. If someone doesn't like you, then fuck them (not literally, obviously)

Great advice there, there really is no point in pretending to be someoneelse in order to get some one to like you, because ultimaetly they will find out

If I see a hot bloke and he's like yeeeah I like da gangsta rap, I won't be like ooooh me too just to get him intereseted. I don't care what people think about me & my interests (which is probably why Im still single hahah) You take me as you find me, and that includes me slobbing around being lazy picking my nose nd playing computer games

May 7, 2008, 8:38 PM

There is no reason to pretend to be someone else to get someone to like you. It makes no sense, because when you do get together they will see your true self eventually. There is nothing more attractive than someone being themselves...well, except Scottish accents (for me), but being yourself is the second best thing you can do (again, for me).

May 8, 2008, 8:28 AM

Why do you keep making threads in this section. This is...not a serious thread. At all. Except maybe for the part where you might want to seek professional help for seeing and hearing things.

It's immature to just say "BE YOURSELF AND IF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE YOU, SCREW 'EM!" That's not how it works; hate to break it to you. People alter their behaviors constantly. You don't act the same away around your mother, friends, or boss. If you do, you have serious social issues. Who we are hanging out with affects and shapes how we will behave, as well as our interests. I've actually discovered quite a few things I enjoy that way. I didn't particularly like volleyball, but I met a girl who does, so I showed interest in it because she enjoyed it. I then discovered I really love it. So in a way, I think saying you should just be yourself is kind of stupid. There is no definitive 'you.' There are just many facets to yourself that show at different times, depending upon who is around. I'm not advising that you completely alter your personality or pattern of behavior, but I think flexibility and an open mind is definitely a good thing.

May 8, 2008, 2:47 PM

We are talking about a lovers relationship, not all relationships at once....

When it comes to intimacy , and self indulgers, then it is good to be yourself.

Their may be no definitive you, but there is definately things that are definitively not you, or who you are. People can lie all the time, and acting a part that you poorly suit, or are forced to act on in THIS CASE... is clearly wrong. Logically you will not be able to act the part well or for long if you simply do not suit it, nor should you if it's just not you....IN THIS CASE

This is about lover's relationships, and dating, not about how to act around your boss or whatever bs you brought into it.

You fail...

May 8, 2008, 3:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Korytco

We are talking about a lovers relationship, not all relationships at once....

When it comes to intimacy , and self indulgers, then it is good to be yourself.

Their may be no definitive you, but there is definately things that are definitively not you, or who you are. People can lie all the time, and acting a part that you poorly suit, or are forced to act on in THIS CASE... is clearly wrong. Logically you will not be able to act the part well or for long if you simply do not suit it, nor should you if it's just not you....IN THIS CASE

This is about lover's relationships, and dating, not about how to act around your boss or whatever bs you brought into it.

You fail...

I fail? Wow, that stings coming from you. What I said is applicable to all human interactions, including romantically intimate ones. I honestly don't know what the hell you just said, so I'll try to reply as best I can.

As I said, there is no definitive 'you' that you can be. There are just different facets of yourself. And like I said, you shouldn't completely alter your pattern of behavior, but you should definitely keep an open mind and be flexible. And talk about failing, if you can't realize that romantic relationships are basically built off of friendships, you shouldn't even be talking about them because you clearly don't understand them. What I said about friendships is completely applicable to romantic relationships.

You talk about people lying...the lying is a part of who they are, isn't it? So aren't they truly being themselves? You can't say that "this is definitely not me" because people are constantly changing (though these changes are minor, for the most part). Often, your significant other ends up changing who you are. It's so childish to just break down complex and intimate human relationships into "BE WHO YOU ARE AND PEOPLE WILL LIKE YOU!" or "PEOPLE WILL DATE YOU FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE!!" kind of crap. That's what elementary schools do.

May 8, 2008, 5:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Korytco

Anyways forget about the ghost, let's not get into that.

Alrighty. I'm slow to believe a ghost visited you in the dead of night with dating tips, though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Korytco

What do you think about what it told me? My subconscious or ghost, something spoke to me.

People date you for who you are? Not always. I've seen people date others for reasons ranging from favorable connections and money to dating for the sake of not being single.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Korytco

Importantly , what do you think about what it told me, good or bad advice?

Does that constitute as advice? Sounds like a general statement.

May 8, 2008, 5:42 PM

Actually, I act the same way around everyone, and if it bothered them, I'd be unaware of it unless they went and told me about it. I had no idea that it was cliched to "be who you are", particularly when it comes to looking for a significant other because the worse thing that you want to do is be someone you're not and realize you have to spend the rest of your life being the person that you aren't--even if you can't keep it up or else face a worse fate. If the converse happened to you, you'd be screwed too. There are quite a few people in relationships that pretend to be people that they aren't, and they're somehow surprised to see that their significant other leaves them or does something they don't expect--it's all too logical.

If you change, that doesn't mean you stop being yourself though. If you change and you're still doing what you feel is right rather than pretending to be someone else for the sake of someone or something else, then you're not really pretending.

I do not like putting on faces. It's too lacking in consistency, and I hate lying to other people. Perhaps it may make me seem socially awkward, but I'd rather be consistent and "awkward" to people who think with their hearts rather than be inconsistent and "not awkward" to the same kinds of people.