Milican's Characters

November 10, 2007, 9:40 PM

ORPG and/or RPB: ORPG or Whatever (Pick Me Faster!)<o:p></o:p>

Name: Milican Strauss<o:p></o:p>
Race: Human
Gender: Male<o:p></o:p>
Age: 23

Appearance: <o:p></o:p>
This bearded young man distracts notice from his mediterranean blue eyes and aquiline nose with a sharp, pointed scowl. Upon his medium length, golden-brown hair sits a dark blue, pirate-esque hat with white leather trim along the rim and a U in the forehead section cut out to display an ivory feather, pinned to the bowl. He constantly strokes his small mustache, which curves around the edges of this mouth and almost touches his full, brown beard. Milican is almost six feet tall, but always is hunched over, or slack in his posture, so he rarely rises to his full height. He is well fed and build with a large chest, but only his legs are muscular, due to his constant walking or pacing about. The soft, fair complexion pales in contrast to the dark hair outlining his face. <o:p></o:p>
Apparel:
Milican is proud of his person and dons, always, clothes befitting his self image: a white, high-collar shirt that is hip length; a baby blue ascot; a dark blue linen sash (which is tied over the shirt), dark blue cotton pants tucked into brown rough-leather, knee-high, boots; a waist length military coat (again in dark blue) with twelve buttons with stylized baby-blue cuffs; matching that is a sleeveless overcoat complete with an elbow length cape-let and a tab closure over the chest with six buttons that leave a six inch gap down the front; finishing his attire are brown rough-leather fingerless gloves.

Personality: Around close friends, Milican is jovial (almost too jovial) and friendly. Often the first to lend a hand and usually the mediator of disputes, even if his snide remarks leave his reputation as a peacekeeper a bit soiled. However, if he should feel betrayed by such friends, they will never be back in his good graces.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
First Impression: The only clue to Milican’s friendly nature is his eyes, but these are usually shadowed by his downward cutting eyebrows, in fact, many people who do not know him personally avoid him for fear of his infamous ability to rain down tactless observations. This scowling is actually Milican taking in his surroundings and determining things such as what to have for lunch time or if he should buy the newest treatise of monster lore. Only rarely is he out for blood, though it’s hard to tell. <o:p></o:p>

Weapon(s): <o:p></o:p>
Milican’s Sabre: One of Milican’s most prized possessions (which he took from an enemy wizard during the war and then had his name engraved on it), this saber is quite ordinary.
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Armor: The magnificent clothes on his back.

Magic: <o:p></o:p>
???

Abilities/Skills:<o:p></o:p>
-Learn: If Milican is ever affected by a creature spell (not of any traditional magic type), he learns that spell at the end of that encounter.<o:p></o:p>
-Scan: Milican may use one of his turns to observe one enemy to learn how powerful it is compared the party (or himself), the percentile of health it has, and its weaknesses and immunities.<o:p></o:p>

Quick History:<o:p></o:p>
Milican was the only child of a minor nobleman and courtier and grew up in an indulging house hold. Throughout his youth he apprenticed to his father as a runner and spent much of his free time in the court menagerie. When he came of age, the court wizards appointed him as an apprentice (against his and his father’s will) to teach him the art of black magic. Unfortunately for his would be teachers, they employed goblins, who were keen on showing disobedient students a thing or two. When the goblins came to the school head master beaten and bruised Milican was asked “politely” to leave. Afterward he apprenticed to the Menagerie keeper, where he learned the how and why of the beasts of the world. Soon after, the kingdom he lived in saw war and he enlisted himself, hoping to discover more spectacular monsters in the ranks of the enemy, however this would not be the case. He served honorably and because of his unique ability to weaken the enemy mages he was awarded a higher wage at his dismissal. Milican is now ready to enter the great wide world in an attempt to assuage his wanderlust and thirst for knowledge. <o:p></o:p>

November 11, 2007, 10:55 AM

Alright then. Sorry for the delay, I had an emergency in life

NO NOT THAT KIND OF EMERGENCY

Impressive appearance, not bad at all. No quams there.

O.o Wow, you're one of the only people I know who can put so much in so few sentences in the Personality. You're lacking some stuff, like how he is in a fight for example, or intellect, etc., but in the few sentences you have there, I got a clear image of talking to him O.o Well done.

Hmmmm. With Milican's sabre, we have an issue here, though it doesn't seem to be a large one. Namely, the fact that it turns people to stone when your guy is pissed. I don't think it can do that, as that is called petrification, and petrification is a status effect, and status-inducing skills are not allowed to be used. Also, you would have to say how it were to happen if it did, such as contact to the sword, a blast of magic from the sword, etc. But, save that kind of originality for if you change your sword.

O.o LOL I laughed at your armor. Very cheeky

Goblin Punch and Magic Hammer seem to be...who am I kidding, they ARE Goblin Punch and Magic Hammer from the FF series, specifically 9 if I am not mistaken. Unfortunately, since your character is being designed (or so it seems) for ORPs, I doubt this would be a very good idea. Usually, you should have originality with your skills, especially when your character is designed for RPBs and ORPGs. You can have SIMILAR effects to those you listed, but you can't have the exact same.

Learn and Scan I'm not so picky with, they are both commonly used names and concepts, but it's your Scathing Wit I'm against. If we were to speak status-wise, that would be considered a status-inducing skill, because it sounds to me like it's the Berserk Status. If we're speaking normal-wise, Scathing Wit is power-modding, as it places an effect on your foe that prevents them from controlling their character properly.

For both Magic and your Abilities, I suggest you put some energy-loss in there. We can't have spells that are free, that's god-modding

Quick History actually isn't to bad. A little dry, but since when is history exciting

Well, there we go, hope you find it useful

November 11, 2007, 7:25 PM

Alright then. Sorry for the delay, I had an emergency in life

NO NOT THAT KIND OF EMERGENCY

Thats good to hear.

Impressive appearance, not bad at all. No quams there.

Thank you!

O.o Wow, you're one of the only people I know who can put so much in so few sentences in the Personality. You're lacking some stuff, like how he is in a fight for example, or intellect, etc., but in the few sentences you have there, I got a clear image of talking to him O.o Well done.

Until I understand what exactly I can do, that'll have to wait; though, thanks again for the compliment.

Hmmmm. With Milican's sabre, we have an issue here, though it doesn't seem to be a large one. Namely, the fact that it turns people to stone when your guy is pissed. I don't think it can do that, as that is called petrification, and petrification is a status effect, and status-inducing skills are not allowed to be used. Also, you would have to say how it were to happen if it did, such as contact to the sword, a blast of magic from the sword, etc. But, save that kind of originality for if you change your sword.

Who said it could turn things to stone?

O.o LOL I laughed at your armor. Very cheeky

Wahoo!

Goblin Punch and Magic Hammer seem to be...who am I kidding, they ARE Goblin Punch and Magic Hammer from the FF series, specifically 9 if I am not mistaken. Unfortunately, since your character is being designed (or so it seems) for ORPs, I doubt this would be a very good idea. Usually, you should have originality with your skills, especially when your character is designed for RPBs and ORPGs. You can have SIMILAR effects to those you listed, but you can't have the exact same.

I didn't know I couldn't do that... I feel stupid. Anyway: they were inspired by FFV. Okay, so I can just make up similar stuff then. For example? I'm getting a FFVII and FFVIII vibe from the character generation.

Learn and Scan I'm not so picky with, they are both commonly used names and concepts, but it's your Scathing Wit I'm against. If we were to speak status-wise, that would be considered a status-inducing skill, because it sounds to me like it's the Berserk Status. If we're speaking normal-wise, Scathing Wit is power-modding, as it places an effect on your foe that prevents them from controlling their character properly.

I completely understand, I'll just have to role play it. *OH NO!*

For both Magic and your Abilities, I suggest you put some energy-loss in there. We can't have spells that are free, that's god-modding

I didn't (don't) quite understand the magic who-ha. Can you help me with that?

Quick History actually isn't to bad. A little dry, but since when is history exciting

Well, I could write it from Milican's POV, that would be a bit more entertaining and further flesh out his character.

Well, there we go, hope you find it useful

Indeed.

November 12, 2007, 10:18 PM

It has been brought to my attention that this is an UNORIGINAL bio, having striking similarities to the character from the game Brave Fencer Musashi. As a result, I rescind my earlier critique and begin a new one:

CHANGE THIS CHARACTER TO AN ORIGINAL OF YOUR OWN MAKING TO GIVE IT A BETTER CHANCE OF BEING APPROVED FOR ORPGS!

Bios of originality are strongly encouraged; you can have bios that have certain aspects that are similar to unoriginal concepts, but the number of similarities you have here are far too many. For a better chance of getting this approved, you should change it and create something original.

I am not a mod, this is not a disapproval, only a warning to you telling you that you will have a better CHANCE (not that you have no chance now) of getting it approved for ORPGs. As it is, it seems that it will be very difficult to get a good approval.

November 13, 2007, 3:11 AM

It has been brought to my attention that this is an UNORIGINAL bio, having striking similarities to the character from the game Brave Fencer Musashi. As a result, I rescind my earlier critique and begin a new one:

CHANGE THIS CHARACTER TO AN ORIGINAL OF YOUR OWN MAKING TO GIVE IT A BETTER CHANCE OF BEING APPROVED FOR ORPGS!

Pardon me, but I have never played Brave Fencer Musashi, nor have I heard of it until this very moment.

Bios of originality are strongly encouraged; you can have bios that have certain aspects that are similar to unoriginal concepts, but the number of similarities you have here are far too many. For a better chance of getting this approved, you should change it and create something original.

I am not a mod, this is not a disapproval, only a warning to you telling you that you will have a better CHANCE (not that you have no chance now) of getting it approved for ORPGs. As it is, it seems that it will be very difficult to get a good approval.
Well, great, someone has thought up a similar character. This character originally spawned from a varient to the FFTA Blue Mage I was designing. So, I'm quite flabbergasted at this new development.

Also, I have just investigated the game and... Princess Fillet? I mean, the whole thing is trying to stab out my eyes! Which character exactly am I "stealing"? *AGGRAVATION!*

So, hopefully thats cleared up, unless you want to know the whole creative process behind the character.

November 13, 2007, 4:09 AM

Hera Ledro's above post was a misunderstanding. Allow me to explain.

He showed me the critique post and I pointed out the 'Energy Cost' bit that would need to be explained. The example I used was Brave Fencer Musashi.

In the game, the main character (Musashi) cannot use up all of his magic. If he does, then the character weakens. His running is slowed down to dragging his feet along the ground and he can barely lift his katana, let alone the bigass sword strapped to his back.

Thus, when using magic or such abilities (even, dare I say it? Blue Magic), there should always be some sort of effect upon the user. It could take a toll on his stamina or endurance (how long he can last in battle before he's exhausted), or (depending on the skill used) there could be a sort of toll paid on the body itself. For example, my character Kyria June Asher has some drawbacks based on the element she uses. Water magic dehydrates her, fire magic uses body heat, wind magic causes asthmatic symptoms, and earth magic saps physical strength.

I may be babbling by now, but that's more or less what I mean by 'Energy Cost'. Hope that clears things up. ^^;

November 13, 2007, 4:31 AM

Hera Ledro's above post was a misunderstanding. Allow me to explain.

He showed me the critique post and I pointed out the 'Energy Cost' bit that would need to be explained. The example I used was Brave Fencer Musashi.

Ah. Full apologies to Hera Ledro.

In the game, the main character (Musashi) cannot use up all of his magic. If he does, then the character weakens. His running is slowed down to dragging his feet along the ground and he can barely lift his katana, let alone the bigass sword strapped to his back.

Makes sense.

Thus, when using magic or such abilities (even, dare I say it? Blue Magic), there should always be some sort of effect upon the user. It could take a toll on his stamina or endurance (how long he can last in battle before he's exhausted), or (depending on the skill used) there could be a sort of toll paid on the body itself. For example, my character Kyria June Asher has some drawbacks based on the element she uses. Water magic dehydrates her, fire magic uses body heat, wind magic causes asthmatic symptoms, and earth magic saps physical strength.

Alright then. I'll keep these this in mind. Could insanity or personality disorder be a sufficient cost?

I may be babbling by now, but that's more or less what I mean by 'Energy Cost'. Hope that clears things up. ^^;

Thanks!

November 13, 2007, 5:01 AM

Ooooh, there you go. I imagine it'll be rather interesting to watch someone's sanity slip from their fingers as they continue to use their magic.

Go for it.

I wanna see how that'll work.

November 13, 2007, 3:30 PM

O.o My bad, sorry about that. My apologies XD My rep as a critiquer (however scarce it may be) has been tarnished by this deed :cry: