My Own-Made Songs

December 31, 2007, 1:54 PM

Hey guys! I was writing my songs until it came up to me, How about sharing this with the forums? It sure would go around sometime. So after finishing 3 of my first songs, I will post them.
WARNING!!!!!!!
Please do NOT steal my written songs since they are very precious to me, and I don't want any hassle around my songs. So please respect them and don't steal them, and spread it around, saying that you made those songs, which will make you a fraud and you will only be doing this for fame, money, and the glory. So please don't steal them since I have worked hard through this. I am at young age, and worked hard on writing these alone. Thank you for your co-operation

Can't Be Wrong

Intro

They say I look
within the eye
telling the truth
Won't give me any good-byes

Verse 1

I took all my courage
telling the truth
yet the won't believe me
since I have lying youth

Bridge

They took away my honesty
Seeing that I have strangely
Spreaded rumors all around
I saw them look very astound
Chorus
I am supposed to belong
Where the people all are wrong
I can't be wrong (Oh no)
not for so long (oh baby not too long)
Oh no I can't stand it anymore
How can I survive all this rancor.........

Breakdown-Verse 3

I see them look at me
very angrily
They scream at me
For what they see
That isn't part of me

Bridge

Chorus

Ending

I can't be part of this world
It's no more for me
I need to go away from home
Flying away like a lil' birdie......
I'm no more
There's no home
for me
I can't be wrong
But I am here
Nowadays
People don't care for me

No, no, how can I survive
this rancor.......
_________________________

Snowball

There's no grass on the ground
There's no green around
Everything looks white
Somethings not alright

Look over there
there's something on the ground
Lil white thing
It's perfectly round

Hey, hey
Ima throw it at you
If you don't help me make an igloo
It's my snowball
You can't be in control of them all

It's my snowball, snowball, snowball
You can't get it if you make an icefall
on meeeeeeeeeee
It's my snowball, snowball, snowball
Can't take it away for eternity

I got an idea
That I bet you'll agree with
Let's have a snowfight
No, not like a myth

Hey, hey
Ima throw it at you
If you don't help me make an igloo
It's my snowball
You can't be in control of them all

It's my snow,ball, snowball, snowball
You can't get it if you make an icefall
on meeeeeeeeeee
It's my snowball, snowball, snowball
Can't take it away for eternity

Bet you can't take a chance
If you really wanna prance
throwing snowballs all around
Can't be sure, but look what I found

Ohhhhhhhhh...Ohhhhhhhhhh
No, no, you can't take my snowball
from me
___________________________

My Love is True

There is a risk
That you can try
I know you'll make it
'Cause you never make me cry

I can see the love inside you
Don't think that it will
break through

Let me see your lonely face
Let me heal it without leaving a trace
I will tell you my love for you
I can say that my love is true

Whenever I see you
You brighten my heart
It tells me you love me
And it will never take us apart

Let me see you lonely face
Let me heal t without leaving a trace
I will tell you my love for you
I can say my love for you is true

I pray that we never stray apart
for whatever may happen
Don't think that I'll blacken our hearts
Since we never seem to darken

Oh my love for you
Is never-ending
We are together anew
Every flower goes blooming
Because of my love for you-------

I hope you guys like them.

December 31, 2007, 2:28 PM

Moved to correct place.
And theres no need for a thank you post. Just check nest time please.

December 31, 2007, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amelia Jinx

WARNING!!!!!!!
Please do NOT steal my written songs since they are very precious to me, and I don't want any hassle around my songs. So please respect them and don't steal them, and spread it around, saying that you made those songs, which will make you a fraud and you will only be doing this for fame, money, and the glory. So please don't steal them since I have worked hard through this. I am at young age, and worked hard on writing these alone. Thank you for your co-operation

Awfully proud of our writing, aren't we? Don't worry, it won't be stolen.

Quote:

Can't Be Wrong

Intro

They say I look
within the eye
telling the truth
Won't give me any good-byes

Verse 1

I took all my courage
telling the truth
yet the won't believe me
since I have lying youth

Bridge

They took away my honesty
Seeing that I have strangely
Spreaded rumors all around
I saw them look very astound
Chorus
I am supposed to belong
Where the people all are wrong
I can't be wrong (Oh no)
not for so long (oh baby not too long)
Oh no I can't stand it anymore
How can I survive all this rancor.........

Breakdown-Verse 3

I see them look at me
very angrily
They scream at me
For what they see
That isn't part of me

Bridge

Chorus

Ending

I can't be part of this world
It's no more for me
I need to go away from home
Flying away like a lil' birdie......
I'm no more
There's no home
for me
I can't be wrong
But I am here
Nowadays
People don't care for me

No, no, how can I survive
this rancor.......

Sounds like it's about your problem with lying that you mentioned in another thread. Honestly, it's full of cliches and it's too simple. Try to write more fluidly and descriptively so it paints a better picture of what's going on. "Spreaded" isn't a word either, it's "spread", and "astound" should be "astounded." If you don't include proper spelling and grammar in a song meant to be serious, it won't be very good.

Quote:

Snowball

There's no grass on the ground
There's no green around
Everything looks white
Somethings not alright

Look over there
there's something on the ground
Lil white thing
It's perfectly round

Hey, hey
Ima throw it at you
If you don't help me make an igloo
It's my snowball
You can't be in control of them all

It's my snowball, snowball, snowball
You can't get it if you make an icefall
on meeeeeeeeeee
It's my snowball, snowball, snowball
Can't take it away for eternity

I got an idea
That I bet you'll agree with
Let's have a snowfight
No, not like a myth

Hey, hey
Ima throw it at you
If you don't help me make an igloo
It's my snowball
You can't be in control of them all

It's my snow,ball, snowball, snowball
You can't get it if you make an icefall
on meeeeeeeeeee
It's my snowball, snowball, snowball
Can't take it away for eternity

Bet you can't take a chance
If you really wanna prance
throwing snowballs all around
Can't be sure, but look what I found

Ohhhhhhhhh...Ohhhhhhhhhh
No, no, you can't take my snowball
from me

Again, one thing you want to be sure to do when you write songs is include proper grammar. Granted, a song about snowballs is very silly to begin with, but the inclusion of "Lil" and "I'ma" make it look lazy and uneducated. Also, you should try to avoid writing out "meeeeee" and "ohhhhhhh." It's fine to sing lines like that, but generally they're not written that way.

Quote:

My Love is True

There is a risk
That you can try
I know you'll make it
'Cause you never make me cry

I can see the love inside you
Don't think that it will
break through

Let me see your lonely face
Let me heal it without leaving a trace
I will tell you my love for you
I can say that my love is true

Whenever I see you
You brighten my heart
It tells me you love me
And it will never take us apart

Let me see you lonely face
Let me heal t without leaving a trace
I will tell you my love for you
I can say my love for you is true

I pray that we never stray apart
for whatever may happen
Don't think that I'll blacken our hearts
Since we never seem to darken

Oh my love for you
Is never-ending
We are together anew
Every flower goes blooming
Because of my love for you-------

Again, you should really strive to be more descriptive and to stay away from cliches, especially things like "blacken our hearts"...that above all else is a very emo cliche.

The best way to expand your vocabulary and get a better idea of how to be descriptive is to read works by good authors. Try reading some poems by Alfred Lord Tennyson or Edgar Allen Poe. As a matter of fact, Tennyson's poem The Eagle is an excellent example. It's only two stanzas, but he's very good at painting vivid pictures in the reader's mind.

January 1, 2008, 2:16 AM

Good Lord! Your songs make me cry and laugh and they're so full of words. You have a bright future child...

January 1, 2008, 3:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laro

Good Lord! Your songs make me cry and laugh and they're so full of words. You have a bright future child...

Please, don't suck up. Amelia could stand alot of improvement. If you go around telling people they're fantastic, they'll never grow and learn. Her songs are full of words, yes, but they're dull and cliche. The best thing Amelia can do as a writer is to read more and gain a better vocabulary and knowledge of how things are written. The best thing you can do as a reader is critique when it needs to be done, not flatter her.

January 1, 2008, 3:09 AM

Vengeful, it is really based on one's opinion. If Laro thinks it's good, then it's good enough for her. That does not mean she's sucking up. Please respect others' opinions.

And Amelia, the words are full of emotion, that's for sure. It could be a little cliche, but that can be fixed easily. Also, Snowball is not really clear to me...what exactly are you trying to say there...?

But yes, it's a good start.

January 1, 2008, 4:14 AM

Well, it takes courage to share words with this much emotion, so kudos for that.

Also, your songs are clearly very important to you, and I think you should keep it up as your writing shows promise. I'm sure if you work on them, and do research on other lyricists, then they will improve, although they are currently still better than anything I could do.

January 2, 2008, 2:29 PM

Thanks. Maybe I should've put the dictionary in my mind....BAH.
But thanks for the compliments and advice.