Namine's Character Bios

October 15, 2007, 6:13 PM

heres my first one...

Name: Koutsu "Leila" Hayami
Nickname: Leila
Class: Ninja
Race: Human
Gender: Female
Age: 17

Appearance:
-Hair: * Color~ Black
* Length~ Long
* Usual Style~ pony like style
-Eyes: *Color(s)~ Black
-Height: 5 ft. 6 in.
-Complexion: *Color~ very little tan
*Texture~ smooth skin
-Build: Slender
-Noteworthy features: She is always wearing the same hair piece that holds up her hair, it was given to her long ago by her mother...
-Attire: Black ninja uniform

Personality: *Around friends~ More outspoken, more like a chatterbox

*Around others~ takes on shy phase, and usually doesnt speak to them unless spoken to first.
First impression: Since she's a ninja, people think she's dangerous and normally want to stay away from her, but the friends she has made know that is not true. She is always willing to help others in need, and even though a ninja, she doesn't like to fight unless she has to.
Weapons: * Large Weapon ~ Katana
*Mid-sized weapons~ Daggers, Axes
*Small weapons~ Shuriken, Kunai
Armor: no armor
Magic: All basic magic spells like fire, blizzard, thunder, water, and cure. Since she's just starting out with RPG's that's all i gave her, she'll get better magic as time moves on
Abilities/Skills: Sharingan, ability to walk/run/stand on water (from naruto), ability to run up trees, buildings, etc. (also from naruto), quick speed, stealth
Quick History: Much of her is unknown, even she does not know much of her history. But what is known is that both her father and mother were killed, and that she was separated from her sisters and brothers when she was very young.

P.S. i am now finished with this bio, now waiting for confirmation...

October 18, 2007, 9:56 AM

i am no mod, but i would suggest you take a look at the bio creation threads for the propper layout and some hints and tips on writing. I do like the concept tho but then again i am a male "otaku" so animechicks are always a good idea!

October 18, 2007, 12:40 PM

Well, since I did this for SB, I might as well check Namine's out, too.

Actuall, FireFrenzy, they changed the Format. This is now the format *sigh.* Not was good as it used to be, but alright, I guess...

Firstly, I'd like to point out that I am no mod or RP Director, so I am not approving it. I am merely giving suggestions and a critique.

Alrighty.

You need an origin. Your lady can't just come out of thin air. We need her origins, in terms of the names of the place and a brief description.

Appearance. Once again, people are limiting themselves to point form. Point form is way too choppy, for each subsection of appearance, you should have a brief paragraph. Yes, even for hair, describing length, texture, colour, and such. Unless, of course, you're doing it all in one or two paragraphs, in which you integrate everything into paragraph form.

Admittedly, your picture does wonders. If it weren't for that, though, I wouldn't be able to picture her. Pictures aren't really much of an excuse for shotty descriptions

Personality. WAY too indescriptive. My personal advice for this is to mentally place her in different scenarios, determine what she would do in those scenarios, and figure out what that says about her. Then you should place all that in paragraph format.

Same goes for First Impression. Place her in a First Impression Scenario, and then say how she would act in general, not as specific as the Personality, but still fairly detailed.

In terms of weapons, I don't think that having so many weapons is allowed. Having Your Katana and your Small weapons are ok, but I don't think those mid-sized weapons is acceptable by the mods.

Magic. Alright, for EACH magic spell, you should say its effects, how much energy it takes, if it will cause weariness or weakness to you, etc. Will overuse kill you? severely damage you? etc.

Alright, if you change those around, I'll come back and give you another critique. I haven't even gotten started on some of the real stuff yet, I'm just warming up

Class time.

October 18, 2007, 1:02 PM

Since I cannot approve it I will give a quick comment on it:
First of all....the picture....I don't think it fits. It is true that I don't watch anime....and somewhat I don't like them....and that's why maybe it's just my immagination.
Sencond....the quick history is a bit short and looks like an introduction to Leila's background. I think it should be a little longer like another paragraph or two. You can add things like why or how did she become a ninja, or what she hates/likes most, maybe a horrible event that happened in the past which made her start adventuring.
Otherwise great job!....I like her....Go Leila!!!

October 18, 2007, 7:41 PM

sry, it's just that i'm not really good at describing someone...

*i'm not really good at rpg's but i want to be in rpg's and such!* Anyways could you help me, i already printed out the information what i needed for the creation of my character for when i first started making her... can you help me get some ideas?

October 18, 2007, 7:45 PM

Speaking of which....where did you find that information?? I want to join RPGs but I am not willing to start posting without a model of sorts. I have ideas of two or three characters and it would be a pitty to waste them.

EDIT: Nevermind....found it!!!

October 19, 2007, 1:35 PM

are you going to help me or not...

ps. i should show you a picture of my 2 cats sometime zanmato

October 19, 2007, 1:54 PM

Quote:

are you going to help me or not...

ps. i should show you a picture of my 2 cats sometime zanmato

Since you've asked so nice I can't refuse you.

PS: Sure. I love cats.

October 19, 2007, 11:50 PM

YAY! thx

P.S. here's the direct link to my sub album in my photobucket where my 2 cats Fergie and Diana, are located

*they're named after Lady Ferguson and Princess Diana*

http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y30...20and%20Diana/

November 19, 2007, 8:29 PM

*sry for double posting but here's my second character, hope's she's better than the first...*

Name: Leila Nightroad
Title: Sister
Race: Half Vampire, Half Human
Gender: Female
Age: 143 years old (apparent age: 21)

Appearance:
-Hair: Pure silver long hair closely shaped to her face. Rarely ever seen with her hair down, it is usually held up in a pony tail.
-Eyes: Blue
-Height: Human~ 5'6" Vampire~ 6'0"
-Weight: Human~ 130 lbs Vampire~ ???
-Complexion:
Color~ very little tan
Texture~ Smooth
-Build:Slender
-Noteworthy Features: Wears a cross necklace around her neck at all times.
Attire: long blue jeans tight at the waist, v-necked t-shirt curved around the body, chain belt, earrings, and her necklace
Personality:
-Good Situation: Friendly, more outspoken towards friends
-Bad Situation: Starts to withdraw at times, other times there will be outbursts
First Impression:
-Good Situation: She will go in an help the person in need
-Bad Situation: If she is in trouble, and someone is going after her, she is less likely to be able to defend herself to the point to getting the person away from her.
Weapons:
-Large Weapon: N/A
-Mid-sized Weapons: Short Sword, Bow & Arrows
-Small Weapons: Dirks and Knives
Armor: no armor
Magic: All basic white magic spells
Quick History: Being the 'unknown' sister to Abel, she is usually the rebel when it comes to her job to having to be a 'sister'. She works at the Vaticun *probably not spelt correctly, i will check* with her brother Abel, until recently (Yet not revealing her identity as being his sister to him). She now wanders the land looking for a new job, with still the role as a 'sister' behind her