Namine's Character Bios - Page 2

November 21, 2007, 9:23 AM

excuse me, but can she be half vampire? Also who is Abel? He's mentioned as were already supposed to know him but I don't know any Abel.

Also it needs more details overall.

November 21, 2007, 11:04 PM

i'll make a bio of him later... *he's supposed to be the Abel from Trinity Blood though

* i just havent made one of him yet!
kk, here's my third leila bio

* i have 3 leila's and heres the last and final one

Name: Leila Moonflow
Title: Princess
Race: Half Elf, Half Human
Gender: Female
Age: 79 (apparent age: 18)

Appearance:
-Hair: Long brownish-red wavy hair closely shaped to her face. Always worn down.
-Eyes: Blue
-Height: 5'6"
-Weight: 130 lbs
-Complexion:
~Color: very little tan
~Texture: Smooth
-Build: Slender
-Noteworthy Features: Wears a pendant, that her mother gave her when she was very young, around her neck at all times
Attire: Blue jeans (tight around the hips), t-shirt (closely formed around the body), her pendant. *almost NEVER wears her princess clothes
Personality:
-Good Situation~ More outspoken about her life as a princess, and past life
-Bad Situation~ Usually the first to back down in a fight with friends
First Impression:
-Good Situation~ The stranger might freak out to find out that she is a princess, also she is a very outspoken woman towards strangers at times
-Bad Situation~ She would most likely run away from the person if s/he was trying to chase her, or if the person was injured... she would heal that person with the medicine she carries with her at all times
Weapons:
-Large Weapon~ Bow and Arrows
-Mid-sized weapons~ N/A
-Small weapons~ N/A
Armor: no armor
Quick History:
Queen Moonflow(murdered)
King Moonflow(alive)

Being a princess, people naturally think she's a spoiled, stuck-up brat... but she's not. Ever since she was young she had to do chores that princesses normally do not have to do (such as having to wash her own clothes, clean the house, etc.) Her father on the other hand, never pays attention to her, and the only time he ever will is when he is barking orders at her to give her another chore. Recently, she was able to runaway from this horrid life and is now searching for a place to safely live and hide from her father.

December 12, 2007, 12:27 PM

Well, first question: Is this character for ORPG or RPBs? That's a required section of the format, so you have to put that in there.

Secondly, personality. You have to change it to the format of this forums' bio format. Basically, to try to save you some link clicking and reading, the format calls for Personality to be sectioned off from the rest of the bio, and placed in (preferebly, though not necessarily) paragraph form. Just Personality - Good Situation/Bad Situation doesn't cut it here, I'm afraid.

Weapons. Alright, they're large weapons. Fine, but you have to describe to us (once again, preferably in paragraph format) what they look like, the materials they're made out of, etc. We need some MAJOR improvement on that area.

And the Quick History section is a little too quick, if you get my meaning. We need more than that, origins alone make a history not. We need key events from Leila's life that shaped some of her defining features. We don't want you to go into every single detail and wax on and on about them, but we would have you do more than what you did.

For now, [NOT APPROVED], but if you make the changes that I suggested, it shouldn't be too bad.

**Battle Royale: Profiles** · July 8, 2008, 10:29 PM

In an effort to get this bio approved, I am bumping this thread and offering these suggestions:

Please look over the New Bio Format, and edit your character's bio to fit that template. I realize that it has been over 7 months since anything was done on this bio, but since I saw you log in relatively recently, I'm leaving this thread open incase you wish to have the character approved.

If there is no response, I will close and move this thread to 'Retired.'