Jealousy

May 23, 2007, 11:35 AM

Gee, the amount of threads I make is ridic. But I appricate the advice that you all give me and its wonderful to know that people are willing to listen to me. So first off, thank you.

Now, you all of course know Im in a relationship, 4 months come Friday *touch wood*. And I suffer from terrible bouts of jealousy. Ive been like this since I was young, but when Im in a relationship, its really comes through. I tend to be jealous of any ex-girlfriends and female friends they have in their lives. I just get so jealous if they talk about them or talk to them.

I know of course that my boyfriend will talk to other girls, yet he is a very flirty person and his friends have confirmed this. Now I have discussed the flirting with him and he doesnt realise hes doing it, yet he doesnt stop. I think Ive mentioned the Swedish girl on his MySpace before and how hes meeting her in London still, even after we had a massive row over how he comments her nonstop and never comments me to my face. Still now, he comments on her blog when she writes a poem on being in love with a guy and doesnt bother to notice mine about getting abuse at work.

I know jealousy can ruin relationships, but I cant seem to stop feeling angry when I see how hes commented her and yet he barely speaks to me online. I dont see him during the week, so a nice message, comment or text would be nice, but I get nothing from him. He gives this girl more attention then me and shes in freaking Sweden! This is the second time Ive gotten jealous over girls on his MySpace, but this one is worse. Every single picture of hers has a comment left by him, saying how beautfiul and pretty she is. Now I dont get that when Im with him. He told me that Im the one hes with and that should count for something, but I barely have any self confidence so comments make me feel better. And my boyfriend should know that his girlfriend needs to hear them, not some bint.

So has anyone any advice they can give me to deal with my jealousy? Its ruining my relationship and Im surprised he hasnt ended it with me yet. But sooner or later, hes going too.

May 23, 2007, 11:42 AM

i dont know how this will sound to you but i suggest you delete him on your myspace account and see what he says and see if he notices if he does then sit down and talk to him about this whole swedish girl thingie ok i hope it helps if not im extremely sorry...

May 23, 2007, 11:53 AM

Hmmm, I have to admit I can get really jealous at times with relationships, your boyfriend really shouldn't be being this friendly with this Swedish girl. He doesn't sound like he's giving you enough attention anyway like a boyfriend should do with his girlfriend. Sometimes I feel I need reassurance. If I were you i'd have a word with your boyfriend and discuss with him that you feel neglected, don't mention the Swedish girl or that will cause a row. If he's a decent boyfriend then he'll concentrate on you more and give you the respect you need off him. With this Swedish girl, it'll never get anywhere and she's no threat what so ever, but it's pulling your hair out, like Hero said, delete any contact from Myspace of your boyfriend or Swedish girl and concentrate on enjoying life. Or with an evil kinda way what you could do is play at his own game, i'm sure you could flirt innocently with other guys and make him relise how lucky he really is.

May 23, 2007, 12:01 PM

I was tempted to delete him, but I think that'll cause a bigger row with us. He has said that I can leave comments for guy friends, they are mainly his friends and he did admit the other day that he was jealous of me and his other friend talking nonstop every time we meet and he feels left out. So he can get jealous, but he doesnt really say anything about it.

May 23, 2007, 6:42 PM

This is a very tough situation. I know how jealousy can ruin a relationship, but in your case, I can't really blame you on this. Heck, I would be jealous too if I was in your shoes...the fact that he's showering that girl his attention instead of towards you, is indeed something to be jealous about.

The way I see it, this whole thing is making you feel less confident in yourself and that's not good at all. It's not healthy for you and I really do suggest that you leave him as soon as possible. After all, didn't you say that he'll leave you sooner or later anyway? Well, why wait for that moment to come? Leave him instead and still walk away being the bigger person. Hopefully he'll realize his mistakes.

I also suggest that you have a serious discussion with him. You guys can probably still fix this...but it's really all up to you, of course.

May 23, 2007, 7:07 PM

Okay, how's this for an idea? I keep posting comments on your myspace about how hawt you are, then he'd be the jealous one. It's foolproof. Link

May 23, 2007, 8:36 PM

Lol, Im sure he'd get very jealous and very angry at the both of us lol. But thanks for the idea Guv'na.

May 25, 2007, 3:02 PM

Hey, I have the same problem with guys, and I'm not even in a relationship! I get envious, jealous, and a tad bit posessive if some other girl other than my friends (they know that I like that certain guy) talks to him or touches him or anything. I'm dead serious. I need to get rid of that, as well.

May 25, 2007, 11:00 PM

You're jealousy is entirely understandable, although not necessarily a good thing.

For one thing, you seem to be basing a lot of your opinions over what happens on MySpace, but how does he treat you in person?

I'm just trying to get you to think about this kind of thing, here is my assesment.

Your boyfriend sounds fairly oblivious. Obviously there is something going on between him and this other girl, but it's entirely likely he's completely unaware of it, or maybe in denial, depending on how harsh you want to be. Either way, he doesn't seem emotionally mature enough to be anyone's boyfriend. Let him go meet this other chick, and good riddance.

That might seem fairly harsh, but it really sounds like you need to be dating someone who is a bit more sensitive to the way you feel, and this guy is obviously not going to cut it. Be more alert to whether or not you're happy in this relationship, because you can't change people.

May 26, 2007, 2:34 AM

Wtf Each Time I Come Back To This Thread My Posts Are Gone!!!! Wtf!!!!!