Friends Fighting

August 19, 2007, 9:36 PM

gotta ask for some advice from ya'll.

We have me (In$anity),

guy 1 , we'll call him: John

n guy 2, we'll call him Fred

Ok, back in school i was friends with them both. John told me he wanted to hit Fred. When me n John fell out, i ended up telling Fred that John wanted to hit him.

So then Fred got real pissed and called up John n said; 'in$anity told me you wanted to hit me, bring it on you fuckin fag'.

John told Fred that i (in$anity) was lying and it's all made up.

So I went to Freds house today n he told me that John had said i was lying. S i rang up John n said;

'did Fred say that I SAID you wanted a fight with him? and are we cool or not?'

John; ''No, Fred is lying. i haven't even spoken to him for ages. By the way i'm driving i'm gonna have to hang up''.

So FINALLY, i rang up Fred n said: John said he's ok wit me but i dont know who to trust'.

Fred replied: 'lets just say i wont be surprised if something strikes in the night'.

(wtf does that shit mean???)

Then stopped talking.

N that's it. There you have it. So who the hell do i trust? What are your views? Cos i need some real advice on this stuff

thanks

August 19, 2007, 10:17 PM

He probably said something to you just to get the anger off his chest, never thinking it would lead to anything. You, being naive, told the other person and pretty much turned general frustration into an actual fight. In the end of the day, you'll catch the brunt of it because you turned both frustrations on you. And even though they may resent you for it, you may save them from actually fighting by sacrificing yourself in the process, even though that's not what you intended.

August 19, 2007, 10:43 PM

^^^

thanks. That sounds very true, almost exactly what i needed to hear. Sounds like i've probably lost em both as friends but saved them from fighting.

August 19, 2007, 11:00 PM

Yea, honestly it sounds like a standard case of teen drama. I'm not really sure how to get around it other than just giving it time. I know at my high school there wasn't really that many people similar to me. Not many friends I'd even want to make. The same thing is still true for this town... but now that I'm in college at least it gives me more options.

It's a hard thing to fix. On one hand you can't actually get the two friends to stop being mad at you or for one to admit they were ever mad at the other. That's why eventually things will turn in your favor... because they never resolved the issue, just pinned it on you, and they'll be right back there eventually anyhow.

You no doubt want a solution. You want to fix the problem between them, your problem with them, and the turmoil within yourself. I'll tell you this. Before you do anything with them, make sure you get yourself squared away. Get your mind straight. Figure out how much of this you were actually guilty for and how much of it was them. Then, once you have the truth figured out, accept the part you're guilty for. After you've done that, simply forget it. It's not the time to play "you did this and I did that" games. That will only exacerbate the issue and make things much worse. You just need to get the score straight within yourself. Then no matter what they say they cannot crack you or break you because you KNOW the truth. And with that you'll have endless support.

As for fixing things up with your friends, time is the answer. Other than that, you know them better than I do. You also know yourself better. You know how you'd rather handle the situation. The only advice I have to give is be truthful and straightforward but don't push an issue, even if it means your pride gets hurt a little. Better you be blamed for something you didn't actually do and help the most important issue instead of getting sidetracked bickering unimportant factors.

August 20, 2007, 3:50 AM

As long as no one swings, there is room for reasoning. That's how it normally works with close friends. Nevermind any pushing shoving, etc, as long no arms go flying.

August 20, 2007, 4:03 AM

They're just having hissy fits man. I'd handle it by doing nothing, unless one of them constantly talks about the other one while you're around. The worst that's going to happen is probably a fist fight. But of course, nothing is truly 100% predictable in our crazy world.

Just let them blow off their steam and back up and let them have their bitchfest. Only do something if you KNOW something unsightly and horrible is going to be done.

But just don't worry about it, man. All it takes is time, just like Aztec said. I doubt that they'll both ever stand in the same room again, but they'll get over their differences sooner or later.