http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/blogs/15989-Yaoi-Master-Gavin Discussion on the popular series of computer and console role-playing games produced by Square Enix including a massive MMORPG system! en Sat, 25 May 2013 17:31:39 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/images/Seamus/misc/rss.jpg http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/blogs/15989-Yaoi-Master-Gavin http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/171-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-Reader-Log-3-of Fri, 23 Nov 2012 09:44:37 GMT So I know it's been a long while since I made one of these. Honestly, school is more important, a better use of my time and a far more enjoyable activity than reading this piece of shit. Of course, even in the midst of Organic Chemistry I found myself beset by this shitty book. Some dumb blonde bitch (figures) is reading it, so I start making offhand comments to one of my friends about it and she goes into this bitchfit about how good a book it is. So I with my usual argumentative and logical grace, calmly explained to her exactly why and how it is a shitty book. To which she continued arguing without even remotely challenging my points or even setting forth any real points of her own. Of course she goes and bitches to my brother as soon as I leave for class (of course she does - bitch doesn't have the cunt to say it to my face) and then I get the whole you need to stop bitching about the book deal from him and it's like 'The fuck man? The dumb bitch started it in the first place." So trufax solved that one. Honestly, I don't care how good in bed she is, her personality should drive men far far away - I would never date a man like that. Needless to say, the very little respect I had for her vanished in an instant as soon as she defended the solid swill.

Speaking of emergency toilet paper, I was asked if I would do a final review on this trash and the answer is yes. These are just reader logs with my comments tacked on. At the end I will do a formal type review focusing on a number of major things. Unlike the logs however, it will be a much less rambling format and would be something I would probably turn in as a paper barring the case when the teacher is a supporter of such trash in which case I would call for her removal.

I would also like to say that I have started referring to the antagonist as Creeper Grey and the novel as Fifty Shades of Shit: From Baby Puke Green to Something's Wrong Red in public. As it is, on with the show.

So the first thing I notice in chapter 7 are the short choppy sentences; sentences that should never exist if you believe what my english teachers beat into me. And it gets even creepier. Creeper Grey is perhaps the creepiest creep I've ever seen/read except maybe, just maybe, that guy from the South Park episode where Cartman gets psychic powers. And it gets worse; next he'll be telling me to rub the lotion on my skin or I'll get the hose again. And now he's laying it on thick - at least Creeper isn't as dense as Ana; he has the balls to say I want you to submit to me. The sad thing is that he seems to think that he is the winning prize at the end but honestly, he's not.

What makes this worse is that the Cunt is pulling even more from Twilight (as if it weren't obvious enough). This time, she's talking about how Creeper is drawn to Ana like a moth to flame. Cliche as fuck but there are better ones; more proof this is Twilight's bastard child. And as we get to the list I'm surprised that no one else has caught this huge error: If the Dominant so requires, the Submissive shall during the Term any adornments the Dominant shall require, in the presence of the Dominant and any other time the Dominant deems fit. Now, something just seems off to me. Whatever could it be? I know, let play Blue's - NO! It's staring you right in the fucking face. ...the Submissive shall during the Term any adornments... Right there in the middle. Looks like we're missing quite a bit of information here. What exactly is the submissive going to do with the adornments? Shove them up her ass? Pierce her tongue and nipples with them? Thrust them quickly into her mouth in hopes that she gags? I don't fucking know. How the fuck did this get to print with such a glaring error?

Okay, finally something I can get down with....surprisingly. Creeper's list of shit he doesn't do surprises me - I won't do most of that shit. Of course, I don't think many of us really like golden showers or cleveland steamers. He's still a fucking creeper. And as we approach the end of chapter 7 we discover Ana is a virgin and that this pisses Creeper off to know end apparently. Looks like popping actual cherries isn't something he likes to do considering he's whipping women and other weird shit.

Oh, chapter 8 begins with an SAT/ACT word: castigate. How much you want to bet that, just like Meyer, the Cunt had a thesauraus next to her as she copied Twilight? And Ana masks her own inadequacies by saying that no one is up to snuff so she hasn't gotten into a relationship. And now Creeper is breaking his own rules and is going to take Ana's virginity - maybe he does like popping cherries. But it's not just any sex - it's making love. Fuck, I hate the way that sounds. I mean I understand why you say it but...it just doesn't sound right. I blame the English language for making words sound weird. Now Finnish, that's a beautiful language.

Well what do you know... I getting flashbacks from My Immortal. So much talk about how this guy is dressed and even worse, it's a copy of Edward Cullen - that sparkling copper-haired bitch. Oh fuck...Ana's developing a foot fetish.... Jesusfuckingchrist... I'm sorry, it just doesn't feel right to be reading about straight sex; it all just sounds so wrong... How's that for proving I'm gay? Well that was lovely; I really wanted to read the sentence "I am so wet." Thank you for telling us Ana and thank you Cunt, for reminding me that I'm reading your sick, sick wet dream. I swear next I'll be seeing the word moist. Yep, I am, without a shadow of a doubt, queerer than a clockwork orange; a wave of revulsion went through me when he thrust into her.

Well that was quick for sex...I mean seriously, I'm forced to listen to my bro and his boyfriend fuck for several hours and it takes Ana like 10 minutes. This bitch has no control. Obviously she's failed Uncle Andy's course in masturbation - "Practice while you're still a solo artist and you'll have lots of happy duets in the future." I'd also like to take this time to point out that the terms 'penis' and 'vagina' simply do not sound good in an erotic novel, even in a poorly done one like this. They are scientific terms and just do not sound good when said. Try it. Compare 'clasped his cock' to 'clasped his penis.' The first sounds better doesn't it? That because the latter is a scientific term. At least the Cunt knows how sex works which surprised me. There's barely much time to actually say much more than short sentences. So chapter 8 closes and it was just...awful. I thought he others were bad but no, reading bad straight sex is just....ugh.

Oh wow, her subconscious has grown a pair and is bitching about Ana becoming Creeper's sex slave - which is about right. Ick, pigtails. The worst hair a girl can have - it just doesn't look good. And Creeper likes the pigtails. Oh god.... Pigtaisl make you girls look sooooo much younger than you are. Which means if he likes them....PEDO! -snicker- Ana dunked her teabag - didn't know she was a herm. And it moves into worse writing as Kate calls in for help on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and now ANa realizes she knows nothing about sex and wants to ask Kate but you know Ana, you signed a nondisclosure - you can't say shit. Which means you get to ask Creeper who will give you his lovely, creepy, fuck up as hell view about how you need to lie down and taking his pounding his cock into your mouth which he whips you.

Yummy is also a bad word to use - I don't like it. Also it looks like theyre gearing up for sex in the bathtub. And Ana just won't stop biting her lip which just turns Creeper on something fierce. And Creeper reveals his narcissism with how he act with wanting Ana to wash his cock which is apparently huge. Or maybe Ana has no idea what a real cock looks like. But now she gets a chance to taste it. So it's oral sex int he bathtub and maybe Creeper is rather sensitive based on the sounds he's making. Which means I should use a cold knife to cut his dick off with and a hot cast iron pan to cauterize the wound - talk about kidney trouble.

And here the long awaited Adonis comparison. See, I've been told by a number of people who've read the book that the Cunt compares Creeper to Adonis a lot but I think this is the first time I've seen it. Ick..pubic hair.... And it looks like Creeper has a foot fetish too. -sigh- I don't understand that shit. Feet are absolutely disgusting to me. I am soooo glad I don't have any fetishes. And I knew there was going to be more sex. Way too much straight sex - I almost want to stop it here. Oh fuck me....Creeper's mother is here... and the first thought thaty goes through my mind is hideous three way. I mean seriosuly! I want to go find that picture of slenderman getting rammed by pyramid head to burn that thought from my brain.

And with that lovely image I'm fucking off to bed. But before I do, I'll continue reading more of Lord Brocktree. They're about to march on Salamandastron and I always love the fights on that mountain. ]]> Yaoi Master Gavin http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/171-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-Reader-Log-3-of http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/164-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-Reader-Log-2-of Tue, 02 Oct 2012 23:58:59 GMT I know it's been awhile since I made the last one; most of you probably wouldn't fault me for that -it's that shitty of a book. However, I know some people enjoy my commentary and that plus my honest desire to see just how shitty this book turns out makes me want to read more. So I pulled out my trepanning stuff and my brother is standing by with infusions of WoW and Skyrim should I need them. Honestly, I took so long to make a new post because I had to get this crap out of my system. Even had a discussion with my abnormal psychology professor about these books. Turns out, the enjoyment of these books is abnormal behavior in itself so if you like these, you might want to get your head checked. That's partially me being an ass, partially me being concerned for your safety, and partially to warn you. It's like 90% me being an ass though. Take an ice cream scoop out of your brain - doesn't hurt me.

Chapter 4 starts with her begging him to kiss him - all in her mind of course. She's screaming it so loud and so often, I'm surprised he can't hear her. Then he tells her he's not the man for her. Fuck me. This Twilight all over again....but so much shittier and without the added bonus of vampires. Let's be honest, vampires make it better even if they do sparkle. And apparently, it's deadly to get hit by a cyclist. Dafuq? Maybe some lacerations, maybe broken bones depending on where you are but deadly? This is not a speeding out of control van. JesusFuckingChrist, stop using I so much. Five lines and there are at least 15 'I's there. See this is why I hate first person - you fall into using I too much and its just breaks up the flow.

And now we have Ana crying in a ball bitching about how she has so many faults, how she's too pale, how she's too skinny, too uncoordinated. Well fuck you. I can think of a number of women who would gladly trade with you. Stop making yourself seem to be so fucking bad and fucking live with it. Fucking irrational women....

"Stop! Stop Now! - My subconscious is metaphorically screaming at me...." I don't think you know what that word means... A metaphor is a comparison and you're obviously not comparing your subconscious to anything. But it is screaming at you, just like I am though for another reason, which it can do - this is a part of the human mind, something you clearly don't understand cockbite authour.

Fuck me, these two women are close. Am I going to see lesbian action here? Cause I'd rather not. And I'm rather annoyed with you now E. L. James - I think I might kill you. Did you seriously just take my hallmark and apply it to this cunt and then apply it to finishing a test? I think not - the Cheshire Cat smile is mine and how dare you disgrace it - I might just have a book burning now. Bitch did it again. Looks like I'll be finding her and punching her in the face. Then she'll know what a real Cheshire smile looks like as I vanish. I take that back.... I think I'll put my skills as a sniper to use.

-sigh- Heavy handed authour bitch delivers yet another blow, one which should send this dumbass protagonist reeling but noooooo...she has to be oblivious, more oblivious than a guard in Skyrim WITH A FUCKING ARROW IN HIS HEAD! ANd now we have her drunk dialing Grey who is so 'domineering.' seriously this isn't an erotic novel at all this is just...bad. Horrible, awful... Where's a crack in time where you need one? And now Jose is acting like a rapist. I blame the booze. And Grey appears. Really? You just called the creeper and now he's here? Talk about a time lapse. The fuck were you doing Ana, crawling your way back to the table? Oooohhhh he tracked her cell phone.... Fucking hell that's creepy. I can't believe people like this shit. Christian Grey is a creeper, maybe even a pedophile. Things that we don't allow in this world. And people are supporting it? The fuck, world?

....He's dressed like one of the Jonas Brothers.... Christian Fucking Grey is dressed like one of the Jonas Brothers.... I may have to break one of my rules for this cunt of a writer. I'm not even going to call her an authour, she doesn't deserve that title. Or writer for that matter. No, Cunt is appropriate. Anytime you see a capitalized Cunt, I speak of this shitty writer. BAck to breaking rules - I may have to break my rule about tampering with food. It would be fun to poison food and serve it to her and watch her in pain as she gags and heaves on the floor twitching wildly.

Chapter five is here and I don't know how much more I can take. Honestly, I would rather read My Immortal. And it looks like necrophilia isn't Grey's thing. Which means he obviously has a thing. But he prefers women to be consciously submissive, not ....easier. I'm starting to see why the Cunt is so heavy handed...obviously she knew that anyone who liked her shit has about the same intelligence as a rock and needs the obvious beaten into them multiple times beforfe they get an idea of what she's talking about. That or she's just as fuckign retarded as they are and this is all for her benefit.

And Ana is just as obvious as the Cunt, all kiss me, kiss me. And he dragging her in. Honestly most of the men who do this sort of shit are NOT like Christian Grey. They are wierd creepy people who should be avoided at all times. And fuck, Ana's creepy too, using Grey's toothbrush. Hell these last two pages have benn the two of them both being creepy as fuck. and the Cunt being totally obvious. And now he's a raging animal in the elevator...how cliche, making out with someone in an elevator. That shit happens way too often. And he's violent too. How the fuck could anyone want to be with someone like that? Such a shittily written scene too, its like one of those My Immortal comic parodies.

Chapter six is boring...useless...boring...useless...waste of paper, more than it already is.... And look at that, Christian's brother Elliot has got Kate, isn't that wonderful? It's gonna be just one lovely fuck frenzy and now Kate is powerless to stop Ana cause Ana is a fucking retard. This is really, really testing my patience and some of you know I have patience to spare. Grey is treated like a god by everyone and uneccessarily even Ana who still can't fucking understand why she's attracted to him. He really is just fucking annoying, the rich bastard. He fails horribly as a character. His motivations are... the whim of the creator - all insubstantial. There is no real character behind him just...a wet dream for the Cunt.

And now he hands her the nondisclosure agreement. That's a red flag right there. Dumb bitch doesn't even read it; I guess she wants to be part of the human centipad. And now we get to go to the playroom. Sorry I just think of that wierd addictions episode with the adult baby. That's just fucking wrong. Am I judging? Yes. But it's an opinion that is based on the intellectual hatred of it therefore I cannot experience it neutrally and thusly does not fall under my rule.

End of Chaper 6 with walking into the playroom. ANd this is about all I can stand of this shit. Makes me glad that I don't have a wierd kink like this. Though if you listen to some, being gay is a kink... Whatever. Gonna go play WoW, get closer to 90 then once this book is out of my system I'll study for my test tomorrow. I'd rather study than read this shit book further. How bad is that? ]]> Yaoi Master Gavin http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/164-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-Reader-Log-2-of http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/160-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-Reader-Log-1-of Tue, 18 Sep 2012 00:25:32 GMT So despite having about 4-5 blogs i actually need to write I decided to read this book instead. Why? Because I keep hearing about it and how its... So despite having about 4-5 blogs i actually need to write I decided to read this book instead. Why? Because I keep hearing about it and how its either shitty as fuck or better than Twilight (and this is from Twihards). So, I'm following my own rule - don't blast it if you haven't read it. I also decided to let you all see my pain and torture as I do this. Or my sarcastic wit. Probably both.

I started by reading the synopsis online. To be honest, it already sounds like a shitty book and definitely something I sure as fuck would not read, let alone allow in my house. Therefore, I took my friends out upon the Black Pearl and raided up a copy so I could read it on the way back. Cause I sure as hell wasn't going to spend money on it.

Already on page nine and shit has gone fast - and not in a good way. The supposed protagonist is faceless; I imagine because she is a very poor protagonist who, thus far, has only one trait, which is being a whiny bitch. It's also quite obvious that this is either a poorly done Zelda ripoff or the authour's horrendous wet dream. You can tell by the detail that she goes into to describe the antagonist (cause lets be honest, this is BDSM) but fails in the protagonist. In other words, the lack of detail in the protagonist means either shes a blank everyhero you can paste your face onto or she didn't even bother because 'fuck you, its my wet dream.' By this point it's also more than evident that the authour falls into the trap of the first-person perspective: she uses 'I' waaaaaay too much. It's understandable to have maybe one every few unless the situation demands more but this dumb bitch has started three consecutive sentences with 'I'. Sorry, that shit doesn't work.

Welcome to page 11 and fuck me this Christian Grey is a creeper. Honestly, if he wasn't a rich bastard I'd expect him to drive around in a windowless van with 'free candy' painted on the side. Hell, I don't know what he drives yet, maybe it is a pedo-van. Subtlety is also something the authour does not understand. Grey is basically whipping out his dick and cocksmacking the protagonist all the while screaming that he's into BDSM and she's more oblivious than Helen Keller in the middle of a highway. It's worse when Grey continually cocks his head. I mean seriously, I think the only thing I've read/seen that was more obvious is that video that screams "The boss is a cunt!" continuously. The authour really is just beating you in the face with it.

Finally at the end of the first chapter and fuck that was awful. It's like slowly self-trepanning my head with a device that does three instead of one. There was more sexual tension in that chapter than you can cut with a knife. Remember that fibrous membrane in Jabu-Jabu's belly? It's like that but 80x as thick; sooooo fucking obvious but you can't cut it because it's so thick. The names are also really, really, REALLY shitty. I mean I have trouble coming up with names at times but at least when IU do they sound good. The author chooses names you would find in "Harrison Bergeron." If you read that in High School you know what I mean. There was a character named Diana Moon Glampers. That's about the way names work in this book too. Gonna keep going with this to the next chapter kicking and screaming.

Already shes falling in love, or at least she things she is. This bitch Anastasia just said "No man has ever affected me the way Christian Grey has, and I cannot fathom why." I'll tell you why. Your dumbass authour couldn't figure out a good reasonf or you to so BAM! now you're drawn to him like a moth to flame and girl, you gon get burned. Sorry, totally let the gay side of me take control. That or I'm channeling Oliver. And I just realized summat - you can abbreviate her name to Ana and I'm totally having reruns of The King and I which fits just perfectly. And it looks like the authour is a member of the Department of Redundancy Department seeing as Mrs CLayton is really pleased to see this Ana. I'd also rather take dull and boring over shitty and unimaginative any day. Thankfully, it's the first right now.

So much of this is extraneous. This call to her stepfather is....a waste of paper. So your dad isn't talkative; thanks for worthless information. And it looks like we've just introduced the other part in the love triange in the form of Jose (fuck the accent; not bothering with ALT codes) who is "tall, and in his jeans and t-shirt he’s all shoulders and muscles, tanned skin, dark hair and burning dark eyes." I smell plagarism. Oh look, Christian's returned at the hardware store because nothing says anal foreplay like a toilet plunger handle -eye roll-. And just look at him: "He’s not merely good-looking – he’s the epitome of male beauty, breathtaking..." Really? You don't say? I can see the authour's hand sticking out of your back, wet dream proxy.

And of course he's just sooooo perfect and sooooo handsome. Just fuck on the floor of the hardware store and get it over with. But no, we need to introduce someone else, someone who's just as extraneous as the two blonde bitches that serve as secretaries to that all powerful Grey. Why do I get the feeling he ties them up on a regular basis? Why do I get the feeling that he wears a cock ring 24/7? Oh for the love of fuck's cunt, the second chapter is over.

And the third chapter begins. I'm convinced that this is another room in hell. You know there's one where they play Justion Bieber music only? Well there's one where you're forced to read this book and you get out of extra torture by passing quizes so you're forced to pay attention but the quizzes themselves are horrendously long and weighted badly and nitpick so its a torture in itself. And when you finally finish reading, all the actuall knowledge of the book is sucked out of you so you can begin afresh with only the horror that this is in fact a shitty book.

Captain Oblivious the protagonist has to be told that Grey likes her...what a fucking surprise. And Grey has such control over her with just his words. Hmm...I smell a Mary Sue or if we're being politically correct, Gary Stu. Heavy-handed authour bitch lands another smack to the reader: "Yes, Mistress. She is so domineering." And if it weren't more obvious that Jose completes the love triangle, I don't know what is. If only he knew that there were two more books where Ana would probably be bound, gagged, and sodomized multiple time in front of multiple people with multiple implements he would probably say fuck it and get the hell out of there.

And Grey looks much more like a creeper now, preying on a innocent girl. And the way he sees Kate... You just know she'll be invited. Oh look another personality trait of the dumb bitch protagonist: she's clumsy and admitting it. I just love how Ana practically orgasms when she speaks of literary heroes of books that are really quite shit. Well doesn't that just fuck all. Grey saves Ana from a speeding cyclist that was about to blindside her. Now where have I heard a surprisingly better told scene? Finally at the end of Chapter 3 and I'm done for the night. Skyrim calls out to me and I feel the need to FUS RO DAH! this insofar shitty book out of my system. ]]> Yaoi Master Gavin http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/160-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-Reader-Log-1-of http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/136-Late-Night-Lurkings-and-Musings-4-of Thu, 12 Jul 2012 09:16:56 GMT So, I'm bored and I can't sleep. Decided to poke around in the warehouse that is FFF's closet. Kind of interesting to see some of the things I did. Saw a few of Riddick's things, laughed and nodded sagely at varying intervals. Saw a few old things by Squee. Found a lot of things from a year an a bit ago. A year and three months actually. Happens when you play 6 degrees of WTF (it's like 6 degrees of separation except non-euclidean). Amusing really, some of the behind the curtain whispers I read. Brought back some painful memories; memories I had hoped I could eventually forget about. But I grew stronger because of that experience and learned a few things, like how I shouldn't compromise my standards.

However, the part that really annoyed me wasn't the memories of the lies or the bullshit - it was the back talk that went on immediately after the fact. Rather interesting that so many people claim to hold such high ideals but as soon as gossip comes floating in, they drop it like a slab of raw meat in a vegan's hands. I can understand the desire for gossip - it's part of the society we've created for ourselves. It's the hypocrisy that really pisses me off, especially when it's a complete 180.

Reading it all, it made me also realize just how far the ability to utilize the English language has been lost. Somehow I feel that I may have said this somewhere on here but I'll say it again. Learn to use words properly and precisely. 'Childish' means acting like a child (in this instance) and contrary to the use, gossip fits that bit perfectly, especially when it's blatant lies.

I remember back in elementary school that the big thing about how to deal with bullies, conflicts and the like was to 'be the bigger/better man and walk away.' Granted, you just gave the bully a few shot at you but hey, the philosophy worked...kinda...no, not really. The idea is that you can tell the character of the people involved by their actions after the fact. But given that character can be based on shoveling snow off a driveway... (ah Calvin and Hobbes, were that you were in publication once more.) But to the serious point. The better man goes off having become better for the experience while the other lingers in it and does their utmost to try to drag the other man and even others with them. And really, in this case, it sort of succeeded. I found out who my real friends were after the incident when some of them simply stopped talking to me, citing the other man for it. Granted most of them weren't really close but still the point is made.

So, yeah. I'm better because of how I handled it. I didn't give in to lying about the other or spreading bullshit. Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of people these days are missing real character, especially in this generation (another blog for another time). Granted, I'm not overflowing with character myself. I'm kinda selfish, a bit of a troll - no, more than a bit, but when it's me saying it, yeah...you know its missing.

Now that I'm done with the ranting part of this, I realize it feels good to just say it - maybe I should've said it when this shit happened back then. But, whatever. For all the shit I waded through for him, I actually wound up pretty clean. -runs hand through hair- And I think that I'll make it a point that I'll never talk about that ex again and simply let painful, shitty memories die the death they and he deserve. -nods sagely- Night to the people who read my blog for whatever reason possesses you. ]]> Yaoi Master Gavin http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/136-Late-Night-Lurkings-and-Musings-4-of http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/130-What-We-Want-3-of Fri, 06 Jul 2012 05:49:33 GMT Recently I reread the Something About Sex thread for undisclosed reasons and I realized that this entire 'men are visually driven' argument is inane - as simple humans, we have to go based on visuals first and foremost. When you talk to a girl OR guy for the first time, it's usually because you sized him up visually first - it's not as if we all have our personalities written on our foreheads for everyone to see. Whether anything comes of the meeting or not depends on their personality. As such, a more precise statement would have been 'Men are more visually driven than women.' But the mention of that thread ends there.

It got me thinking about myself though and what I want in a potential boyfriend. Like I said above, when you go to talk to someone for the purposes of a romantic relationship you do because they're visually appealing to you, so what is visually appealing to me? I know there's going to be negative comments about it and chances are someone is going to take it over the top and begin flaming so I'll preempt it all with this: if that's how you feel, obviously you wouldn't be attractive to me, in body or personality, and quite frankly, you and I would never discourse and there's a high chance that I wouldn't have been able to give a fuck about you before this but now, I'll most certainly be ignoring you.

Back to what is visually appealing to me. To be honest, its the emo and scene guys that turn me on; has been since I thought I was bi back in high school. -shrugs- I don't know exactly why, but I do. I know I like the long hair - it's nice to have something to play with when you're cuddling and you're in public. And I know I don't like the guys who look like they spend any time that they aren't having a 'who's the better man' contest, sleeping, eating, or talking about sex in the gym and nothing else. It seems like every guy I know who fit that is a complete and total douche and would fit in with the fucks on Jersey Shore perfectly - just add orange colouring. Unfortunately, that's how many of the guys at my college are - no doubt they flunk quickly since I see them maybe one year and that's it (another thing I find attractive - actual intelligence). I don't really have anything against guys with muscles, I just prefer a guy who's lean.

I have to admit as well that emo and scene guys have a good sense of style (or at least they appear to - never know the backstory) and that's kind of a thing for me. I'm not saying you need to be wearing a pair of $80 jeans or whatever some runway model is wearing but I do expect a minimum level of fashion sense. It's the usual things - no cardigans, match colours, pants are at the waist, no socks with sandals but you have to with any closed toe shoe, a few others. I'm really just asking for the basics here and for most gay guys, that's no problem - it's like we get a fashion sense upgrade as soon as we realize we're gay.

So...yeah... skinny to lean muscled guys are my visual type, preferably emo or scene with long hair that I can play with. -shrugs- Take it as you will. This may also be a good point to mention that I am NOT an equal opportunity employer - I'd really only date Caucasian and Asian men

Personality wise, I'm really specific about it, especially given my last ex. First off, don't lie to me, especially when it's about something important like your sex role. I'm strictly an uke who switches between dominant and submissive depending on my mood. That means that I need a seme, not another uke who wants me to screw him - that's not at all what I want. I can understand it in certain situations but not something like that.

Second, you're a man - act like it. I expect a degree of femininity when I'm dealing with another gay man but I don't date women for multiple reasons, secondarily because they're volatile (sorry girls but you are -shrugs-)[Primary reason is because they're female]. I don't want a guy who flips moods at the wave of the hand nor a guy who whines like a little bitch about EVERYTHING nor a guy who's clingier than a static charged sock.

Third, be sensitive. If I'm feeling shitty, don't just ask about it and make offhand comments - come over and hug me or do something nice. I'm not saying you need to go buy flowers or anything but by this point in the relationship you should know that I love getting scratched behind my ears or on my back and getting massages. Small things like that that don't need prompting or much from you. It also means don't be an asshole at times like that. I'm a sensitive guy and I'd do the same for you; it should be a mutual support - sometimes we only have the two of us and we don't need to test that.

Fourth, be intelligent and make me think. I'm not saying all the time - there are times and places where it's good to be in a zen state - but we should be able to hold a good conversation about things we enjoy. The movie we watched, the meal we're eating's execution, that sort of thing. Sometimes I'd want a philosophical discussion, sometimes mundane; I'd like for my boyfriend to be able to talk with me about these things and do it well.

Fifth, don't be afraid to be romantic, especially in public. I'm an affectionate guy - I've had many a friend tell me I'm just a big kitten, mrowl. My partner shouldn't be afraid to return it or to take the initiative and do something romantic for me instead of letting me take point. I know there are social expectations so I'm not going to start giving you a blow job in public but I will definitely make out with you, especially if we're on a date.

I think that's all of the big things. Maybe not. But it does give you an idea of the kind of guy I am and what I'm looking for.

And I think now might be a good time to say bye to Riddick who won't be with us anymore seeing as he's been perma-banned. Farewell to one of the few people on here who actually made me think. -tips hat-
]]> Yaoi Master Gavin http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/130-What-We-Want-3-of http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/109-So-Much-Hypocrisy-2-of Wed, 13 Jun 2012 04:48:29 GMT So, over the past 36 hours I've been lamblasted by a large number of people for saying fuck, and in several cases for taking their god's name in vain. Now if this were simply online I'd simply be "whatever, fuck off" but when you have to share both a lab and a class with these people, it really gets annoying, especially when you've been sitting across from this bastard since the start of the class and been doing THE SAME DAMN THING THE ENTIRE CLASS. Apparently today was the day to say 'I'm not okay.' So this is about 9 A.M. this morning when he starts telling me to stop and by this point, I've had a total of about 15 people in assorted places on campus blast me for saying it so I tell him what effectively translates to 'fuck off' except in about the politest way I can muster because already the rather large cut on my left index finger is throbbing because of how much I've used it and it can't breathe in the lab gloves I'm wearing because were working with corrosive chemicals. Unfortunately, he keeps going on to which I reply to him:

"Ya know, it's YOUR problem, not mine. YOUR problem is your perception. For me words are simply that, words. Say what you will, if I care to know, I'll pay attention. That's really all you have to do: don't listen. But no, you can't leave well enough alone can you? Because I'm different, not part of your little cult (he was one that went off about the god crap) so you have to try and change me because of it. Because you and your sort have got it in your head that I am some sort of devil worshipping heathen because, A] I'm gay and B] Words don't affect me. I want you to know a little something else too... I'm not changing. I'm not gonna stop taking cock in my ass simply because you think it's wrong, especially when the stick up yours is about 8x bigger. And of course, you're so brainwashed, you're not going to take anything from this and you're not gonna change so let's go back to the part of this that REALLY matters. Shut the fuck up, and don't listen."

So I got the pause of silence as we stared at each other across the lab table form him and his two other cult labmates before he says "You should still stop," which is snapped back with "Don't listen then." Didn't hear a damn thing form him foer the rest of the lab. Course, I still fucked up the lab because I got pissed at having yet some other cockbite try to change my life according to what they want but still got it done on time. Had something similar happen yesterday during the Pathfinder campaign where this old fuck, probably in his 40s comes to our table and is like "Can't you guys keep it down? We're trying to study. And can you stop dropping so many F-bombs? Some of us don't want to hear that." Oh, there were so many things I wanted to say to this bastard including one about bombing your Nazi city, but my adopted brother, ever the diplomat is like, yeah, we'll try to keep it down, so the old fuck walks off and the other guy at the table is trying so hard to suppress a snicker but one gets out. Old fuck wheels around and belligerently asks what's so funny about it. So the guys like nothing and there's murder in my brother's eyes- you don't try to pick a fight with him around, especially not with his friends. So old fuck takes it and leaves and I'm thinking to myself, you're studying in the student center? Who the fuck does that? If you want quiet go to the fucking library. Been thinking about creating and putting up a sign to that nature for the other days of campaign.

So yeah, so much for loving your neighbor, not to mention impinging on my rights to A] say what I want and B] believe what I want. I've already denounced all organized religions in the Christian sect so the fact that your arguments are coming from that basis are irrelevant.

Something most of you, if not all of you, don't know about me is that I am, in fact, an Eagle Scout. Some of you know what it means and some of you don't, probably the non-Americans since it's not as prevalent in other countries. At it's basest roots, it means that I've put the time and effort into helping others and have great leadership ability. The first is true in the sense that have, truthfully I'm a selfish bastard. Most of you will laugh at the idea that I have leadership ability which I don't blame you. I don't like the mantle of leadership so if I can help it, I don't take it but it doesn't mean I can't lead. Now I say this because it came into the discussion about 2 nights ago about how the BSA is anti-homosexual. Hard to believe that a gay man holds their highest and most distinguished rank. Not really- a number of other eagle scouts are also gay. The point though is that apparently the simple fact that you are gay instantly disqualifies you from a leadership position like scoutmaster. Now granted, I can understand wariness since it's a good opportunity for pedophilia (and some people have taken it) but to simply disallow it for being gay is unjust.

So I looked into it and apparently, it's another one of those Christian things. Seems that you need to be following God's rules to be a part and homosexuality is not part of it apparently. So instead of accepting your fellow man, let's persecute them because 'logically' that's what God wants us to do since homosexuality is against God. Dafuq is this shit? Honestly, there's a simply logical answer to this and a lot of the arguments that homosexuality is against God. This is basically how it follows.

Hardass Christian: Homosexuality is wrong.
Homosexual: But by your own beliefs God created everything and loves everyone?
HaC: ...Right...
Hs: Then that means he created me and every other homosexual and loves us all.
HaC: ...Okay...
Hs: If this is true, then why would he create people doomed to be damned?

Christians make no sense to me and if most of them were intelligent enough, they would realize how illogical their beliefs on homosexuality are because in the example above, either your belief is put into question or you concede. Hypocrisy and lies are the only way to keep this sham alive and since bearing false witness is against God, don't you think that perhaps you should stop? ]]> Yaoi Master Gavin http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/109-So-Much-Hypocrisy-2-of http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/83-Intro-and-My-Thoughts-on-Writing-1-of Sun, 20 May 2012 14:00:44 GMT So....yeah.... -scratches back of head- Never done this sort of thing before. Well, I've never written a journal sort of thing before; at least, not when I'm not on drugs. So yeah...still new at it seeing as I don't remember. Maybe I'll keep going, make it a weekly sort of thing at least, maybe a more "whenever the fuck I feel like it' thing.

On the topic of writing, I found some of my old stuff and when I read it, I laughed my arse off. I thought, "Really? The fuck was going through my mind?" Of course they had been written during high school but that's no excuse. I'm really quite pleased that my style of writing has matured and changed. Of course this is back when I thought I was bi and not straight up gay. Or at least I was in denial of it. That incident at Halloween kinda...cemented that. But I digress.

It's a bit strange looking back at your old works, even when they're relatively recent. Sometimes you can see the inklings of how you write now and others it hits you in face and sometimes it's not even there. Back then, I was fumbling around in first person, trying not to you 'I' so much. It frustrated me to no end when a paragraph began with 'I' or when I had used a word too much, like 'walked.' Writing back then was neurotic. I was constantly rereading my work and making changes. I still do but only when I determine there's to be a fundamental change. Even now, while working on a novel, I went back to change the first chapter for multiple reason, primarily because of the advanced technology that exists it was unnecessary to do some of the actions then and later in the storyline and thusly, it cut out an entire facet of the world that was...stilted to say the least; that is of course to say that, it didn't feel right to use it.

Calming down has been the biggest change for me; I'm not spending hours looking over my works until the story is done. It's usually a once over for continuity, a few notes written down in the margins and spelling corrections if I see them then onto the next chapter. I don't even bother with proofreading my writing for my classes anymore; other than my ENGL 1101 professor, who I don't think really liked me for some reason or another, all of my college professors have enjoyed my writing; pulling a 100 mark on a research paper is a feat of strength with Bruce. Grammar either comes to the writing naturally or it doesn't. Quite frankly, grammar is far from primary, at least in active thinking, when I write. It never has been important for me and I don't really care. To me, story has always been far more important.

My mother's side of the family has what we call verbal dyslexia. No one has problems reading or writing but when we speak...its gets fucked to hell and back. My grandmother could never get names right on the first try- she would go through 7-12 different names, both genders, before she came to yours. I get words mixed up and twisted around when I speak but when I type or write, there's none of that. Even now, as I write this, it's all been one straight shot in my mind but if I were to actually be talking to you and trying to say the exact same thing, I would fail miserably. So it's always been more important to me to get what I mean across before put it into a 'rules acceptable' format. So yes, story trumps grammar, all day erry day. However, when it becomes so mangled that the story is near incomprehensible, then grammar is necessary to clean it up. Luckily, I don't have this problem.

Something else I've clashed with people over is 'What constitutes good literature?' We clash because what most consider classical literature, I call trash, arsewipes, or any other sort of easily tossable material. To be frank, I've come to the conclusion that most, if not all, of what we call classic literature is only called this because we circle jerk around it constantly. I can tell you right now that Shakespeare is absolutely nothing to shake a spear at. It is mediocre at best. Before anyone begins to call me out of such things, I'll also say that Twilight is trash as well, though I stand in a different stance over it. Part of what I think constitutes literature is the ability for an individual to go back to it and read it again and do so multiple times without getting tired of it, or in a short term phrase, it's ability to last. Ender's Game is one such book I've read. Though the sequels can, at times, be annoying, the original work is something I enjoy on a constant basis. Now that I think about it, I really want to start reading it again but alas, I cannot for I must prepare for my summer class which starts tomorrow.

As a general rule of thumb, if you had to read it, it wasn't worth reading in the first place, especially when it comes to European or American literature. There were only a few books that I enjoyed being made to read in high school, and three of them were written by Central American authors. Fahrenheit 451 was another that I enjoyed reading though everyone else hated it (I've come to the realization that I go against the majority on a lot of things). Historical writings, even in fiction are usually bad as well. I've read a number of them and I do not care for them whatsoever. -sigh- I could type out a list of authors who I think are shit and those i think are worth reading but you need to figure that out on your own; my tastes are different than yours.

And....I think I'm done for this morning. ]]> Yaoi Master Gavin http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/83-Intro-and-My-Thoughts-on-Writing-1-of http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/52-Role-Play-Blacklist Wed, 02 May 2012 06:17:43 GMT Now I realize that the word blacklist is a bit harsh, but it is the best term to use. Given the recent revival of the RP section, thank you Zombie... Now I realize that the word blacklist is a bit harsh, but it is the best term to use. Given the recent revival of the RP section, thank you Zombie Jesus, I feel it might be a good time to post up what I and a few RP friends of mine have been talking about; that being a list of people that we feel should be ostracized (again I use a harsh word and so I apologize) from our RPs. Take it with as many grains of salt as you need to; it is possible that some of your friends may be on there.

I know mine is the first one going up of ours, if any others do at all. Therefore, I will place these warnings on it. This is a list I have created based on MY experiences RPing with these people; yours may be different or you might completely agree with me. It is not a certain list for you, only me; you may feel free to use it in an advisory position for admitting people. I do not base my judgements on a single RP but at least two, possibly more of what they have done, RP battles and the like. The reasons I give are not 'I hate this person,' or any other superficial reason but instead something RP related, such as 'They frequently disappear from the RPs they are involved with without leaving any notice as to what should be done with their character or making a post wherein people are not left hanging, waiting for a reply.' Also, mutilation of grammar is NOT a valid reason for being on this blacklist, however, if that is an offense, it will be included but it will never be the sole reason, more of a comment.

Again, I'd like to say that this list is only for me. This is a list of people I will not allow in my RPs, when I create them, for the reasons within. Additionally, I refrain from actually posting my blacklist - that would offend a number of people. Therefore, I am withholding the actual list unless someone requests it in either a comment or in PM form. On May 10, 2012, the list shall be complete (after my final exams) and I shall send it out to those who request it prior to the date at that time and afterword as soon as I discover their want for it. I'd also like to take this time to apologize to anyone who may be offended by this. ]]> Yaoi Master Gavin http://www.finalfantasyforums.net/entries/52-Role-Play-Blacklist